Gather round little children

So I'm a story guy. Not in the sense that I tell stories. But because I thoroughly enjoy them. Reading, hearing, whatever. I am naturally attracted (not in the romantic sense) to people who have good stories to share and can tell them well. I really like reading. I love movies. I love listening to people tell stories as long as it's something I'll be interested in. I love music that tells stories (read: Coheed and Cambria). Maybe it's because I view my life as typical and boring. I'm not sure. But I'm a story guy.

So that's why I like video games in a sense. It lets me get out of myself for a little bit and be somewhere else. A lot of people knock them because they're dumbing down america or ruining kids or whatever the heck they're saying now, but I've learned a lot from them. That's sad when you think about it. But true. And good storylines are essential to a quality game in my opinion. Most of the time. Obviously Rock Band can't have a classic story. But there are great games with great stories. It's one of the reasons I like Halo much more than I'll ever like James Bond. Play Goldeneye or whatever and the missions are as follows: bad guys A and B have taken over base Q. Infiltrate Q, plant X amount of items and get out. Yeah it's a good formula for a cool movie. But there's no real story there. You're following around a guy that's going to destroy America or the earth for whatever reason. But Halo? That game has a storyline that starts before you even see the opening cutscene (you're just thrust into the middle of a storyline), lasts 3 games and still isn't over. The storyline is book material. I know because they've made four of them. And they're good.

Now another game with a great storyline is Resident Evil. I started Resident Evil Zero, which I've never played, this morning. These games are sweet. Honestly I would recommend it just to have your mind blown by the story. And to get the crap scared out of you. This one's not as scary but it's still an eerie feeling. But this brings up another point. Why are people so stupid in horror games/movies? Honestly. Let's start with the beginning of the original Resident Evil. You're Jill Valentine (or some other guy I can't remember depending if you play on Hard) and you're in this unit called STARS (Special Tactics And Rescue Service). The Bravo team had gone to investigate something or other and the helicopter had crashed (that's the storyline of Zero). Alpha team (your unit) goes out to see what's up. Well you're in the forest near this mansion and you find the helicopter and the pilots had been eaten by something. So you have your group (including the heavy weapons guy that's always there with the irrational gun that's way too big for what you typically should be needing to do) and you get attacked by these crazy zombie guys and undead dogs. Well out of your whole group only three or four survive by escaping into the mansion; the rest have become a dead guy's dinner. And of course, right when you all get inside, the leader turns to everyone and says, "let's split up." And everyone thinks it's the greatest idea since napster and runs off alone. Hello? If I were there I wouldn't agree to that. I'd be more like, "HELLO?! Are you #@%$ing retarded? Did you see those things out there? No way!" (yeah I'd say the f word if I was almost eaten by zombies). Anyway. I think it would be a much better idea if everyone just stuck together and solved the problem together. I guess training would fix me straight though.

That was a lot funnier in my head. It sounds really stupid all typed out like that.

Oh well I guess. Anyway, rule of thumb, if appliances in your house start operating on their own, move out immediately.

And then tell me the story.